Missing in action: that is what a lot of Somali fathers are – missing in action. They had no problems whatsoever being there when the children were being created, but once the responsibilities of sacrifice, hard work, taking care of the children, protecting and guiding them, raising them came along – they AWOL – absent without love.
Did God say they could leave their offspring and wife to fend for herself?
“The man who hates and divorces his wife,” says the LORD, the God of Israel, “does violence to the one he should protect,” says the LORD Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful.” – Malachi 2:16
Here is another God says it:
“For I hate divorce!” says the LORD, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the LORD of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.” – Malachi 2:16
If you leave your wife and children you are being unfaithful to God. You are sinning against your creator. God commands that you love your family, your wife, and your children.
God by His Spirit says:
“Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.” – Colossians 3:21
God also says:
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.” – Ephesians 6:4
How can you raise them as godly children
There are two things you need to do as a Somali father if you want to raise children as good, law abiding, emotionally healthy people. First off you need to believe in God and give Him your heart; secondly you need to be living with those you are wanting to influence for God.
So if you reject God and move away from your family you are committing two of the greatest sins ever possible – you are not believing in God; and you are forsaking and neglecting the family God gave you.
Somalis can talk
One thing everyone knows about Somalis is that they can talk. But talking in a coffee shop with your friends drinking double doubles is not going to raise your family. Discussing the politics of Africa will not help solve the issues your child is having at school, or with growing up into a young man or woman.
If you are a Somali man who is neglecting his family for any reason – listen up – get your heart back to God; get your heart back to the wife of your youth; get your heart back to your children.
God is always with us
It has been said that God is a God of second chances; meaning that if you screw up in something one day, God will allow you a second chance to make things right. We are only given one family on this earth, one wife to love, children with that one wife – and we are to take care of them. If you are not taking care of them then you are denying and neglecting the responsibility God has given you.
God is there for you. But you need to humble yourself, you need to bow down before Him and confess to Him that you have sinned by neglecting to take care of and feed your family.
The Bible says:
“But those who won’t care for their relatives, especially those in their own household, have denied the true faith. Such people are worse than unbelievers.” – 1 Timothy 5:8
What is the reality
The reality is that many Somali men has abandoned their wives and left them to raise and take care of the children they helped create. And now these husband and fathers are too proud to show up at the door with suitcase in hand to say “I’m sorry, I have been a bad father and a poor husband. Please forgive me: I want to start again.”
The reality is these absent fathers look for other wives, start new families, and do the same rotten thing all over again. Somali young women in moment of weakness open themselves up to the charm of Somali man and get pregnant – and now they become single moms. Both Somali men and Somali women look around as if the reason for their problems is out there somewhere – but it is not – it is a matter of the heart.
There is a Somali saying that goes like this: “He who fulfils his own responsibility is best suited to take upon other more important duties”.
It is the very thing Somali fathers have to take seriously – fulfill your own responsibilities at home.
God is our Father
Maybe it would help to give you a good picture and understanding of who God is according to the Bible. Maybe you have never heard – but God wants to be your Father and in fact if you are a Christian He is your father. You have been born again by the Spirit of God if in fact you are a Christian; and God has adopted you into His family.
God is not some distant rich relative who moved away to some far away country to live on a mountain surrounding with mile high walls and river flowing around the place with thousands of alligators and crocodiles. He is not some tyrant who has hidden video cameras watching your every move just waiting to punish you for every little thing you did wrong.
God is not some warrior carrying AK47’s and shooting and killing those who disagree with His commands.
This is what the Bible says about God:
“On the day you were born, no one cared about you. Your umbilical cord was not cut, and you were never washed, rubbed with salt, and wrapped in cloth. No one had the slightest interest in you; no one pitied you or cared for you. On the day you were born, you were unwanted, dumped in a field and left to die.
“But I came by and saw you there, helplessly kicking about in your own blood. As you lay there, I said, ‘Live!’ And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your body hair grew, but you were still naked. And when I passed by again, I saw that you were old enough for love. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, says the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine.
“Then I bathed you and washed off your blood, and I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin. I gave you expensive clothing of fine linen and silk, beautifully embroidered, and sandals made of fine goatskin leather. I gave you lovely jewelry, bracelets, beautiful necklaces, a ring for your nose, earrings for your ears, and a lovely crown for your head. And so you were adorned with gold and silver. Your clothes were made of fine linen and costly fabric and were beautifully embroidered. You ate the finest foods—choice flour, honey, and olive oil—and became more beautiful than ever. You looked like a queen, and so you were! Your fame soon spread throughout the world because of your beauty. I dressed you in my splendor and perfected your beauty, says the Sovereign Lord.
“But you thought your fame and beauty were your own. So you gave yourself as a prostitute to every man who came along. Your beauty was theirs for the asking. You used the lovely things I gave you to make shrines for idols, where you played the prostitute. Unbelievable! How could such a thing ever happen? You took the very jewels and gold and silver ornaments I had given you and made statues of men and worshiped them. This is adultery against me! You used the beautifully embroidered clothes I gave you to dress your idols. Then you used my special oil and my incense to worship them. Imagine it! You set before them as a sacrifice the choice flour, olive oil, and honey I had given you, says the Sovereign Lord.
“Then you took your sons and daughters—the children you had borne to me—and sacrificed them to your gods. Was your prostitution not enough? Must you also slaughter my children by sacrificing them to idols? In all your years of adultery and detestable sin, you have not once remembered the days long ago when you lay naked in a field, kicking about in your own blood.” – Ezekiel 16:4-20
Some of You Somali men have failed God and your families
Yes it’s true. Some – not all – but some of you Somali men have failed God and your families. You have not lived the say you should have, you have not treated your families the way you should have. And you know what? Now is the time to make it right. Now is the time to become that spiritual father who teaches his children to love God and obey His commands; now is the time to pick up your mantle go home and put on your slippers and stay home with yoru family.
Drink tea out of your own pot; eat food off of your own table; sit in your own chair at home surrounded by your family and the wife of your youth. Read your Bible – yes read your Bible!
How has your life been so far?
With all the things you have done and the way you have lived and the things you have believed about God, tell me, how has that worked out for you? Where did it get you?
You need to get back on track with God. You need to read the Bible, you need to become a Christian. A serious problem like you have required a serious medication – and God is the only antidote for your rebelliousness and waywardness.
A Call to Christ
God wants to be your Father but it is your sins that are separating you from God. You cannot have a personal relationship with God unless you come to God on His terms, which are, admit your sins to me and I will forgive you – hide your sins from me and I will hide my blessings from you.
You need to have your sins forgiven by God. And because God is a God of justice and holiness He has to punish sin. And He did so through His Son Jesus Christ on the cross. God poured out His wrath upon His Son on the cross so that we could be free from the penalty and punishment of our sins. Simple as that.
Get real with God and God will become real to you. Get real with God and tell him the sins you have committed; tell Him that you have gone astray and lived in a way that you should not have lived. God wants to forgive you and wants to hold you in His arms and care for you – but you have to Come home. You have to come Home to God.
Call upon the name of the Lord and you will be saved. Cry out to Him and you will be helped.
Contact us…we would be glad to help.